Sunday, October 25, 2009

Dating Web Site Critique

Because I spend all my time bitching about shit you might find amusing, I'm not to successful with the ladies. I joined some dating web sites to release my potential children. By that I mean sex. Well, I've noticed that there's some problems with a couple of the profiles that girls come up with. And so the fun begins.....

First off, there are some ugly people out there. If you don't have all your teeth or some kind of hideous, you need to go to the dating website for mutants. Ya'll are pretty much a lost cause. The next group of people on here that require my comments I actually respect. There is a group of women that prey on little nerds like me and seduce them for money. These sirens of the net e-wink and e-flirt with us making us believe that somebody in Hong Kong actually wants nerd penis. In actuality these teen seductors want we e-pimps to register for sites and spend some money trying to see some virtual titties. Personally I'm a member of 13. These lovely ladies are learning valuable skills that prepare them for the future. Namely marketing for obvious reasons, but also debate. "No I don't think I could afford tittiestittiestitties.com." "Oh, but, baby, I want you to see me dance for you in my undies for the low price of $20 a minute." "Me too. Let me get my mommies credit card." Good job ladies. No longer are you confined the strip clubs and street corners to pay for college. Now you can exploit your only gift from the comfort of your own home. xoxo ;)

Now this next group of people are the ones that actually got me mad enough to log of off World of Warcraft. These are the girls that are too fucked up to get a piece in the real world that resort-like me-to the world wide web. Except these ladies fuck shit up on the web too. This is the situation...if you say that you want to have a long term relationship please don't put up pictures that show what a whore you would like to be.

"I'm looking for a real man for a long term relationship. Don't contact me if your looking for straight sex. I won't respond." That is a summary/gist of the profiles that I'm referring to. Two things wrong with that. 1) wrong website for relationship looking web surfers. 2) Claiming that you want a serious relationship and putting up pictures of your lopsided boobies and shoving a Coke bottle up you twat that looks like and Arby's sandwich. It just sends a mixed message. Please, psycho surfers, the Internet is a place where we can be somebody else so you don't have to be annoying. Save some cyber space for we non-crazy dysfunctional people that actually know what we want. Thank you for your time, but you piss me off.

3 comments:

  1. I'm going to leave a good comment, but I have to check out tittiestittiestitties.com first. I'll be back in a bit.

    ReplyDelete
  2. What if my twat looks more like a Big Mac. Leave the photo up...or see a doctor?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I was going to write a similar blog concerning this topic, you beat me to it. You did a nice job! Thanks and well add your RSS to come categories on our blogs. Thanks so much, Jon B.
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    ReplyDelete